Gooood morniiing, afternoon or evening Conlanger, how empieza Diciembre, espero estés cerrando tu año lo mejor posible y preparándote para darlo todo en el 2024, incluyendo tu práctica de habilidades de comunicación y desarrollo del idioma inglés, pero no te preocupes! Para eso estaré yo aquí cada viernes siempre y cuando así lo desees para traerte valor y mejorar nuestra comunicación juntos.

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We now have started part three of the book “How to win friends and influence people?” - Dale Carnegie and the first two principles presented in this part are the following

• You can’t win an argument.

• A sure way of making enemies - and how to avoid it.

So the first point is really controversial from the perspective that it’s an affirmation and Dale shares the following “Buddha said: “Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love,” and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person’s vewpoint.”

He also lists some suggestions from the article Bits and Pieces about how to keep a disagreement from becoming and argument:

• Welcome the disagreement.

• Distrust your first instinctive impression.

• Control your temper.

• Listen first.

• Look for areas of agreement.

• Be honest.

• Promise to think over your opponents.

• Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest.

• Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem.

He closes this first principle with the following: “Opera tenor Jan Peerce, after he was married nearly fifty years, once said: “My wife and I made a pact a long time ago, and we’ve kept it no matter how angry we’ve grown with each other. When one yells, the other should listen- because when two people yell, there is no communication, just noise and bad vibrations.”

“The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it”

En pocas palabras, controla tu ego, déjalo a un lado, escucha y evita la discusión.

In the second principle about a sure way of making enemies Dale presents that the worst thing you can do to someone else is to tell them they are wrong. “You can tell people they are wrong by a look or an intonation or a gesture just as eloquently as you can in words - and if you tell them they are wrong, do you make them want to agree with you? Never! For you have struck a direct blow at their intelligence, judgement, pride and self-respect.”

Tres mil años atrás Galileo dijo “No puedes enseñarle a un hombre, sólo puedes ayudarle a encontrarlo por si mismo”

We have to understand that few pople are logical. Most of us are prejudiced and biased. Most of us are blighted with preconceived notions, with jealousy, suspicion, fear, envy and pride.

Algo interesante que comparte Dale es que en ocasiones modificamos nuestra mentalidad sin resistencia alguna pero en el momento que alguien nos dice que estamos en lo incorrecto lo resentimos y se endurece nuestro corazón. En el momento que alquien quiere quitarnos nuestra creencia nuestro autestima se ve amenazado y lo defendemos a capa y espada.

Dale mentions in the book "“When we are wrong, we may admit it to ourselves. and if we are handled gently and tactfully, we may admit it to others and even take pride in our frankness and broad-mindedness. But not if someone else is trying to ram the unpalatable fact down our esophagus.”

“I am convinced now that nothing good is accomplished and a lot of damage can be done if you tell a person straight out that he or she is wrong. You only succeed in stripping that person of self-dignity and making yourself an unwelcome part of any discussion.”

Mostrar respeto por la opinión de la otra persona suena bastante lógico, sencillo y fácil yet, es algo que difícilmente aplicamos porque el momento en el que algo no concuerda con nuestra idea, pensamiento o estandar lo queremos rechazar inmediatamente y probar incorrecto.

Anyway, a little bit longer this time but worth it. I hope you are finding this useful. Let me know your thoughts and comments.

Vocabulary, Phrases and Tools

This week I want to bring you a constant reminder that I work with my students which is…

Focus on the objective of your message not on how to say your message in English.

Most of the time we are focused on finding the exact word that I’m thinking in spanish to say it in english when actually it should be about what’s the purpose or objective of what I’m trying to say, when you focus on the objective of what you want to say it’s much easier to find the way to say and express yourself in english.

Ya sé que suena fácil pero no lo es requiere práctica y ejercicio pero entre más consciente estés de esta idea más sencillo te será encontrar las alternativas de lo que quieres decir en lugar de frustrarte y sentir que no puedes hablar fluido por no encontrar exactamente la palabra que estás buscando decir.

Week’s Content

Ahora si ya estamos back on track, ya pude grabar contenido y seguir con la publicación regular.

Aquí te comparto uno de los videos de esta semana que justo tiene que ver con el tema anterior sobre encontrar las alternativas para lo que quiero decir.

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Recommendations

This week’s recommendation is:

 To review:

En esta ocasión, más que recomendarte algo te quiero compartir un documento que hice sobre 4 tips para mejorar tu comunicación en inglés.

Recuerda que si no quieres seguir recibiendo este contenido de valor te puedes dar de baja en el siguiente link: